AWESOME

Just a quick update…

For the first time in over 6 years, life is good. Truly good.

- I have ended an incredibly unhealthy and abusive relationship which was not only holding me back from life, but destroying me.
- I am in therapy.
- I have (possibly for the first time ever)….self esteem!
- I now live in a clean and orderly home, instead of chaos.
- I am finally learning who I am, and I really think I like him.

…Wow. Even when I see it written in front of me, it’s still kinda hard to believe. Surreal and wonderful, but almost hard to believe.

I couldn’t agree more…

Fresh Start

Today was a good day. Good days aren’t as common now as they used to be, or at least I should say they haven’t been as common…but today was a truly good day.

I started my day by waking up nice and early, on my own (as usual). I can’t remember the last time I actually needed an alarm. I am up and ready to go by about 7am, whether I like it or not. Luckily this doesn’t bother me a bit. The earlier I get up, the more I get out of my day. Anyway (I feel like I’m rambling today)… I woke up bright and early and took a bike ride with my pal (and flatmate) Paul down to the coffee shop for coffee and a bagel. * side-note: Yes, I realize calling my roommate my “flatmate” makes me sound like a want-to-be-British, hipster twat, but “roommate seems odd (since he technically rents a room in my house) and I refuse to call him a “renter” because it doesn’t sound friendly, and he’s one of my favorite friends. SO…anyway…

After breakfast, we road home and then drove over to Lowes, where be bought soil and plants to start a garden. This was only possible due to a gift card my parents gave me (most likely the best gift for a homeowner EVER). The gift card turned out to be the exact amount we needed for everything.

Building the garden was simple and fast, as we used cinder blocks and ready-to-use organic garden soil, designed for raised gardens. Once the soil was in, watered, and packed properly, we measured out square foot grids on the garden to help with plant placement.

Here’s our organic vegetable & herb garden (along with a list of what we planted):

I’ve also started a little daily journal that we’ll be using for the garden. Since we’re all learning as we go, the plan is to note everything…from watering schedules to bug damage. At least this way, if we screw something up, we can hopefully look back and figure out what we did. We’re also including photos, memories & anecdotes…anything regarding the garden, really. Gardening is going to be a bit therapeutic for me. I’ve been having a bit of a hard time lately (though it’s getting better thanks to a great therapist and a lot of work). There’s a great combination of relaxation and pride that comes from working on a garden (says the big shot, fist-day gardener) and I think it could really be helpful to me. I want to get as much out of this experience as possible. I want to savor the joy that comes from putting work into the garden and reaping the rewards of my efforts…just as I want to do with life.

Exciting times ahead folks…exciting times, indeed.

I look forward to working on myself, my garden and hopefully, this little blog much more in the future.

A moment of reflection

I’m sitting here at the coffee shop, listening to Tom Waits after a great bike ride and I can’t help but reflect on my life. I’ve had some (rare) good fortune lately in a lot of respects, and I am quite grateful for it. That’s not to say there haven’t been low points as well, but I’d prefer to focus on the positive and keep my head in the right place.

My house is coming along beautifully. I have a couple new roommates whom I like very much. They’re incredibly kind, sincere people who have a genuine interest in helping me make the house the best it can be. The vibe in the house has changed 180° in the last month and I couldn’t be happier about it. There is a great sense of community now. Shared dinners, bonfires in the backyard, good conversation…no drama or stress.

When I think about how much my life has changed in the last 9 months, I am left amazed and humbled. I could very easily sit here and talk about how these changes didn’t start happening until I started following my heart and welcomed God back into my life, but I won’t do that. After being turned off by overly-excited religious zealots who preached their beliefs to me whether I asked or not, I promised myself I wouldn’t be that type of person. I most certainly have God in my heart and fully believe I have been saved by his Grace, but that’s a discussion I leave for those who are curious and want to talk about it. I have many friends who are not religious and I respect their beliefs and opinions. I dunno….maybe I will write more about that another time and just preface it with a warning for all those “non-believers” out there.

In other happy news, my parents are coming out for a visit and should arrive sometime today. I haven’t seen then since Christmas, and I’m really looking forward to spending some time with them (and showing off the improvements around the house). I honestly couldn’t ask for better parents. They’re wonderful friends and I love them dearly.

Well, I’ve got a friend meeting me for coffee in a moment and I feel that I’m rambling a bit anyway, so I’m going fold up the old laptop and light up a cigar.

I hope everyone out there has a wonderful weekend and I thank you, as always, for taking a moment to read this.

On a side note…

I strongly believe that I wouldn’t be where I am today without the work of Pastor Jay Bakker and the wonderful people at Revolution Church. Unfortunately, they are facing a very hard time financially right and could really use your help. I realize times are tough for all of us, but if you can spare anything please do so. You can make donations HERE.